i fucked up.
im fucked.
i had one of the worst anxiety attacks of my life whilst rocking myself back and forth on the shower floor. i was fucking gasping and almost screaming and then i did it and i could breathe.
and now im thanking the weather gods that it is winter.
(Source: sotla, via acid--reflux)
the thing i fucking hate is that everyone is trying to tell you how you feel.
‘school makes me stressed’
‘no it doesnt, what do you have to be stressed about?’
‘no, it really does’
‘no it doesnt’
‘ok’
i have learnt not to say anything about how i feel any more because nobody understands, my mum doesnt understand and it frustrates me. i get frustrated when people just push away what youre saying because they dont agree.
i just feel as if no one understands that i feel trapped. when im sitting in a classroom, i cant breathe because the walls are closing in. i look at everyone in the same clothes and i just want to shrink into a ball and cry, theyre thinking horrible things about me, i know it. why wouldnt they. i hate myself, im disgusting.
i dont know what im doing but i do know that i have stomach pains and chest aches every single day because of this anxiety. its fucking crushing me.
